so that wasnt chicken after all
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
