We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
