It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
