Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Someone came in the potted fern
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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