so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
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