she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
