Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
