I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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