if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
