she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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