omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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