You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
