You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
