What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
