Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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