so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
