It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
