After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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