ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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