i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
