Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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