just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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