You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
