**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm passing your future prison.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
