yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize