They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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