Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize