and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
