Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
