one might say we're banned from that church
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
