Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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