Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
