I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
