i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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