I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I will be naked everywhere
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
