Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
