I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
