Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
