a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
