i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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