Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
