My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
