You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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