Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
