i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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