I can text with my tongue
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
