i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to make out with him forever
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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