So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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