I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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