i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
