They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
