If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Boobs speak an international language.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
