Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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