Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
