thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
