so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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