i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
