ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
