im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I have post one night stand depression
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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