i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
