MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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