I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
