GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
