DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
