My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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