she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
