The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
