I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
