So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
