Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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