champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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