just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
