so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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