Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
