okay pat passed out under dana's car
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
